Are you being stalked?

"It's not easy to describe the fear you have when you see the stalker, or signs of the stalker, everywhere you go. I have given up all hope of ever having a safe life. For the rest of my life, I'll be looking over my shoulder, expecting to see him there."

Are you being stalked?

Stalking is a series of actions that make you feel afraid, distressed or in danger. it can happen online or in-person. It's serious, often violent and can escalate over time. It's a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for the person’s safety or the safety of others; or suffer substantial emotional distress.

Are you:

• Always looking over your shoulder?

• Worried that the person knows your schedule and will just show up?

• Struggling to focus on school, extra curriculars, work, hobbies or other activities?

• Nervous about checking your messages or phone because it might be them again?

• Scared of what that person might do again?

Stalking victims often feel scared, angry, annoyed, isolated and/or confused.

Most stalkers target people they know.

Many stalkers commit this crime against people who they've dated or been romantically involved with, during or after the relationship. Stalkers may also be acquaintances, neighbors, classmates, family members or strangers.

Stalkers use a variety of tactics, including (but not limited to): unwanted contact including phone calls, texts, and contact via social media, unwanted gifts, showing up/approaching an individual or their family/friends, monitoring, surveillance, property damage, and threats. Stalking is a crime in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, the military and tribal lands. Some of the behaviors that make up the crime of stalking are criminal on their own (like property damage). Even if the behavior is not a crime on its own (like texting excessively), it may be part of the pattern of stalking behavior and victims should consider documenting and reporting it.

18–24-year-olds experience the highest rates of stalking among adults.

Among undergraduate stalking victims, 59% of men and 86% of women are stalked by men, regardless of sexual orientation. Stalking on campus violates student conduct codes and is a crime in all 50 states.

There are resources to help you identify if you are being stalked and guide you through the issue.

Identifying Stalking Behaviors | Stalking Awareness & Prevention | SPARC

Develop a Safety Plan

Stalkers can be unpredictable and dangerous. Whether in-person or through the use of technology, stalkers use a variety of strategies to invade the lives of their victims. Most stalkers use multiple tactics and can escalate their behavior(s) at any time.

Stalking situations have unique risks and considerations for safety planning. The Stalking & Harassment Assessment & Risk Profile (SHARP) is a tool designed specifically to examine and assess stalking. SHARP is a 48-item web-based assessment which provides an assessment of the “big picture” of the stalking situation. It also provides a situational risk profile that consists of 14 factors associated with a wide variety of harms including physical or sexual attack, harm to others, ongoing and escalating stalking and harassment, and life sabotage. SHARP is free to use and provides both a narrative of the stalking situation and the risk profile as well as information about stalking risks and safety suggestions.

We encourage responders and stalking victims to work together to complete the SHARP assessment and use our Safety Planning Guide below to develop safety strategies.

What can you do to be safe?

• Call 911 if you're in immediate danger or have been threatened. Tell everyone else.

Things to do:

1. Trust your instincts. Victims of stalking often feel pressured by friends or family to downplay the stalker’s behavior, but stalking poses a real threat of harm. Your safety is paramount.

2. Call the police if you feel you are in any immediate danger. Explain why the stalker’s actions are causing you fear. Tell everyone else- friends, family, teachers, Title IX rep.

3. Keep a record or log of each contact with the stalker. You can use this log as an example. Be sure to also document any police reports.

4. Save evidence when possible. Stalkers often use technology to contact their victims. Save all emails, text messages, photos, and postings on social networking sites as evidence of the stalking behavior. You may also want to consider how to use your technology and your devices in a safer manner. For more information, please visit the National Network to End Domestic Violence Safety Net Project’s Tech Safety Site.

5. Get connected with a local victim service provider who can assist you in exploring your options as well as discuss safety planning.

6. Consider an Order of Protection or Civil No Contact Order. See our Tips & Topics article on OPs for more detail.

   • To obtain an Order of Protection, you can:

   • Contact Sojourn Shelter & Services for assistance- 1-866-HELP4DV

   • An advocate will help you to complete the paperwork and file in civil court.

     
     

     Civil No Contact Orders

     A Civil No Contact Order from the court can protect you and your family or household members from an abuser if you are the victim of non-consensual sexual conduct or non-consensual sexual penetration. Unlike the domestic violence order of protection, you do not need to have a specific relationship with the abuser to get a civil no contact order.

   • A CNCO can be obtained and filed in the county Circuit Clerk's office in your county. There is no charge to file.

   Here's the link for paperwork from the Illinois Court System Website-Civil No Contact and Stalking No Contact Order Forms