DV in the Arts, part 15: You're Gonna Be Ok - Jenn and Brian Johnson

So, this month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM). What's the point?

I'm off on a tangent for a minute. We often think of awareness months as a time to wear a particular color, share something on social media, or put up a poster. Those things are important because they start conversations. But when we talk about domestic violence, awareness needs to mean something more.

It means recognizing what domestic violence actually looks like. Domestic violence isn't simply an argument that gets out of hand. And it isn't always physical violence.

It can be someone controlling where their partner goes, who they talk to, what they wear, or how they spend money. It can be constantly checking their phone or location. It can be threats, intimidation, humiliation, isolation from family and friends, sexual abuse, financial control, or making someone feel afraid in their own home.

At the heart of domestic violence is power and control.

And one of the questions survivors are asked far too often is, "Why don't they just leave?"

Leaving an abusive relationship isn't always simple, but thanks for the question.

A survivor may be worried about where they will live. They may have children to protect. They may not have access to money or transportation. They may have been threatened. They may still love the person hurting them. And sometimes, leaving can be one of the most dangerous periods in an abusive relationship.

So instead of asking, "Why don't they leave?" perhaps a better question is:

"What can we do to make it safer for them to ask for help?"

That's where all of us have a role. That's also a statement made by a client in a finance class I teach at Contact Ministries on Fridays. We were discussing their experiences and how their lives brought them to be there. She wanted it to be easier for someone else.

Eureka. You don't have to be a domestic violence professional to make a difference.

• If someone tells you they're being abused, believe them.

• Listen without judging.

• Don't tell them what they "have to" do. Ask them what they need.

Remind them that help is available and let trained advocates help them understand their options and make decisions about their own safety.

And perhaps most importantly, let's talk about domestic violence before someone needs our services. Thaaat's what DVAM is all about.

Now, back to the topic- this month's DVITA pick is from Brian and Jenn Johnson and it's called "You're Gonna Be Ok." This song has had 62 MILLION views on YouTube. Here's the most ponient comment I found- from @fmk656-

"I listened to this song almost everyday during one of the darkest periods in my life. I held on and didn’t give up. Here I am today in a much better place, happier and living life. So I tell anyone who will come across this message. “Hold on, don’t let go” things will get better."

Click HERE.