DV in the Arts, part 14: Till it happens to you- Lady Gaga

Here's one of the songs I think deserves far more attention than it gets.

"Til It Happens to You" is, in my view, one of the most important songs ever written about trauma—not because it's technically brilliant (although it is), but because it captures something that advocates, counselors, and survivors often struggle to explain.

It was written by Lady Gaga and Diane Warren for the documentary The Hunting Ground, which focuses on sexual assault on college campuses. Both writers have spoken about how their own experiences informed the song, giving it an authenticity that comes through in the performance. What strikes me most is the chorus:

"Till it happens to you, you don't know how it feels..."

That isn't saying people are incapable of empathy. It's pointing out that many well-meaning responses- "Just move on." "It'll get better." "Be strong." -often miss the reality of trauma. Until someone has experienced profound violation, fear, or loss of safety, it's difficult to fully grasp how deeply it changes the way a person experiences the world.

  I think this song has particular value because it addresses several realities that survivors of domestic violence often describe:

• the isolation of feeling misunderstood,

• the frustration with simplistic advice,

• the invisible nature of trauma,

• and the slow, nonlinear process of healing.

The song isn't really about sexual assault alone. It has become an anthem for many kinds of trauma because its central message is universal: don't judge someone's healing by your own expectations. Click here.