The Future You, part 2: Calling the Hotline...

This is the second in a series of articles on information and strategies that you'll need to know in your quest for freedom from an abusive partner.

"You don't have to know what to do next. Just call." That's the main thing to keep in mind if you're in a Domestic Violence situation and need help. A cold call is the most unpopular way to contact someone if you're a salesperson for good reason- the unknown- and the realm of possible reactions from the person on the other phone. But, someone calling the Sojourn hotline can expect six things:

1. A calm, nonjudgmental person

The first thing callers will encounter is someone who listens. Many people call while scared, confused, embarrassed, angry, or unsure whether what they are experiencing is even abuse. They should feel heard rather than interrogated.

2. Safety comes first

The crisis manager (our term for the person who answers the phone- think advocate or counselor) will likely assess immediate safety concerns:

• Are you in danger right now?

• Do you need emergency services?

• Is the person who is hurting or controlling you nearby?

• Do you have a safe place to go tonight?

The goal is not to pressure someone into leaving, but to help them stay as safe as possible.

3. Information and options, not pressure

One of the biggest misconceptions is that calling a domestic violence hotline automatically starts a process. It shouldn't.

A caller should expect information about:

• Shelter services

• Safety planning

• Orders of protection

• Counseling and support groups

• Legal advocacy

• Community resources

• Human trafficking services (when applicable)

Most importantly, the caller should remain in control of their decisions.

4. Help understanding what they're experiencing

Many callers are not certain whether what they're experiencing "counts" as abuse.

A crisis manager can help them recognize:

• Emotional abuse

• Coercive control

• Financial abuse

• Stalking

• Digital abuse

• Physical violence

• Sexual violence

• Trafficking indicators (if applicable)

Sometimes the most valuable thing a hotline provides is helping someone put a name to what has been happening.

5. Confidential support

Callers should expect their concerns to be treated seriously and respectfully. Knowing they can talk openly often makes the difference between hanging up and taking the next step.

6. Hope

This may sound simple, but it matters. Many people call feeling trapped. A good hotline conversation helps someone understand:

• They are not alone.

• Resources exist.

• There are people willing to help.

• They can make decisions at their own pace.

So! Let me summarize it this way:

When you call Sojourn, you don't have to know what to do next. You don't have to be ready to leave, file a report, or make any major decisions. Our advocates are here to listen, help you assess your safety, answer your questions, and connect you with resources. Whether you need immediate assistance or simply someone to talk to, you will be treated with compassion, respect, and dignity. You don't have to know what to do next. Just call.